we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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