Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
