Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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