i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My breath smells like gin and sadness
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize