Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
