I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
