I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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