Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
