so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
