yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
