You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
