she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
