I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
