What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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