I'm really into asian looking animals
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
