I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
