Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
