i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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