Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
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