i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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