do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize