You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
