i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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