I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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