My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
This is the high leading the old right now
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
