HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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