i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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