...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
