i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
