Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
me + whiskey = a bad person
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
