things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
