I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
