It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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