I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
