woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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