Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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