1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
