Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
