You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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