At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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