Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
