I need help removing her.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
