she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
