Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
