How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
