i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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