I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
