Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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