we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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