so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
