i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
