hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Holy shit dude........stairs
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