hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize