i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
