I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
you will always have a special place in my vag
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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