she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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