My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
