I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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