we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I stole a fireplace last night.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
