Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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