Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The beer is more important than you right now.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
