I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
